newproject_1_originalBefore we get into the dark ‘truth’ about these Monday to Sunday pills, we should get ourselves familiar with the back story. Basically, society want to have sex without getting pregnant and without the restriction of condoms. The condom part is largely male driven because let’s face it…. women just want to feel erm…full. Pardon my crudeness. Interestingly, the pill was only initially available to married women when it was released in 1961. God forbid we should be caught with our knickers down if we didn’t have a husband. ‘That girl ought to be ashamed of herself!’. This rule lasted all of six years because the pharmaceutical companies realised ‘Hey there is a large profit to be made here!’. Hence why your doctor prescribes meds for everything instead of encouraging natural ways of healing…but that’s clearly a blog for another day!

Now, according to this article , the contraceptive pill has been called the greatest scientific invention of the 20th Century. Which it probably is…for men. This article also states that 70% of women in the UK are on the pill or have taken it at some point in their lives. Now that is scary. As you have been patient in reading this introduction, all shall now be revealed. Side note: I felt it important to share this in case other women are struggling and they can’t figure out why.


I have been known to my family as RUTH. Short for RUTHLESS. Not a very endearing name to say the least. From the age of 14 years old I went on the pill to regulate and reduce the pain of my period. Had those side effects been the only ones I may still be on it now. For the next ten years of my life I would have a cloudy, angry mind, an extremely short fuse and endless migraines. The migraines were unbearable. The longest was 28 hours and I couldn’t leave my bed or come out from under the covers. Painkillers didn’t even dent them. I literally thought my brain was going to explode. During a shift at the bookies one day, my vision went blurry, I couldn’t speak and I couldn’t add up. I fell off my chair and pulled myself into the toilet and turned the light off until the duty manager arrived. On reflection, the symptoms suggested a minor stroke but because I was 19 and naive, I dismissed it.

It’s hard to say which was the most difficult, the migraines or the moods. If I was calling a company about a bill I would end up flipping even if the advisor I was speaking to was giving world class customer service. But to me the inconvenience of having to take 5 minutes out of my day to make a premium call to a company I don’t want to speak to was torture. Even during dialling I would hyperventilate with anger and just wait for a reason to start screaming. After these types of calls I would just sit and cry out of frustration and bae would be like ‘seriously though what did you get out of that’ and the guilt would set in.

Other instances have included calling my father derogatory names and telling him to get out of my life, ripping cables and wires out of walls, destroying my own possessions because being destructive helped rid me of the energy that took over my body. Because I had no rational thought I would spend my wages without a second thought and leave myself without basic needs such as food. Shopping also made me feel better…. which is ironic as I knew eventually I would destroy what I bought in a rage with my bare hands. The worst habit I got into, which I still do today but much more diplomatically, is tell people uncomfortable truths. If my comments upset my nearest and dearest I would just say something like ‘well the truth hurts…. bitch’. How awful! When I think back to how I felt during those years I could vomit in disgust.


Whilst there were hundreds of occurrences like this, there was one thought I had which still makes me shiver now. The strong deep-seated feeling that I wanted to slowly tear somebody’s limbs off. I’d pray for a woman (or a man!) to start something so I could get into a scrap and rid myself of the strong feelings that were coursing through my veins like snakes. Had my love not loved me so much, I may have never recognised that I had lost my shit completely and needed to find a way back to rational thought. Neither of us considered the pill was the root cause so I tried exercising, eating healthy, getting more sleep, changing my surroundings….and alas nothing changed.

The penny dropped when I started to become conscious of what I was eating. Watching programmes like ‘The Sugar Documentary’ opened my eyes to what chemicals in foods do to the body. Consuming the parasitic chemicals in processed food could lead to serious illnesses such as cancer, as well as restricting day to day life due to the internal reactions they cause. Once I cleaned up my diet, I was devastated to find the feeling was still there lurking in the background. It was like a shadow that started at my feet, twisted up tightly around my body and finally made a permanent evil settlement in my brain, squeezing the life out of my rational thought.

So, after one particularly bad day of wanting to murder the world and smash up my house, I happened across the leaflet of the contraceptive pill I was taking. I’d never really given the side effects a thought before and my interest in how chemicals impacted on the brain and body roused my interest. In my contraceptive taking lifetime I used Microgynon, Yasmin and Cilest so I decided to look at the side effects in more detail (on an actual PC because phones didn’t have standard internet then…lol). The points below are the side effects I personally experienced from taking the contraceptive pill and these are listed in their literature-

  • Headaches/Migraines
  • a change in the pattern or severity of migraine headaches
  • Increased chance of blood clotting
  • Depression
  • Rise in blood pressure
  • Disturbance in liver function
  • Mood swings

Serious Side effects

  • sudden and severe headache, confusion, problems with vision, speech, or balance

In the case of Yasmin, 6.7% women were discontinued from the clinical trials due to an adverse reaction and yet this product is available to young girls and women around the world!

After some discussion with bae, I decided to just stop taking it. I didn’t go to my doctor as I didn’t feel they would take me seriously. Every time I discussed contraception they tried to convince me to get the implant in my arm. Having heard and seen horror stories about the implant, I told my doctor I didn’t want to be asked about this again and I asked him to make a note of this on my file.


The Results

Well, what can I say…a week in with no pill down my neck and I felt like a phoenix rising from the flames. My mind was clearer than it had been since my school days. My brain went to the laughter function quite easily and never strayed into angry thoughts. If it tried to, I could acknowledge them and send them away. I was rational again! The heavy cloud of being misunderstood and miserable floated away to find some other poor soul. Bae said it was like he’d met me for the first time all over again. Then that got me thinking, how many relationships have fallen apart because of this? How many women were feeling worthless, misunderstood, depressed and/or suicidal? From that moment on I told myself I would never put my reproduction system in the hands of a man made chemical again. Inhibiting my eggs for years at a time was not natural to me and the thought of potential damage to my cycle consumed me. Luckily, everything settled down after around three months or so. Experiencing a proper period after 10 years was hard going but I took joy from knowing my body was functioning as nature intended, not as a man in a lab intended.

Since my experience, I have seen other women go through the same struggle. During a camping trip, my usually kind hearted and fun friend was in a foul mood. Her temper was so short she threw a bag of metal pans at her brother! Immediately after she felt so consumed with anger, regret and upset she even exclaimed ‘what’s wrong with me?!’. She too stopped taking the pill and felt rational and happy after just a week too. So, whether you agree with the pill or not, the struggle is real for many women and they are better off using the natural method. If this story sounds familiar to you, I urge you to stop taking it for just a few weeks and I guarantee you will feel a million times better!


Women: Rivalry and Envy

Have you ever been somewhere and a beautiful woman walks into the room? Did you notice how people react? The majority of men would probably either steal a quick glance, ogle openly or perhaps make a crude (occasionally respectful) remark about the woman’s ‘charms’. The other women in the room will do EXACTLY the same but 9 times…no we’ll say 8 times…out of 10 they will follow with an unnecessary insult or sly remark like, ‘She has got extensions in’, ‘her legs are big’, or may be more aggressively ‘who the fuck does she think she is?’. This last one makes me laugh out loud. The response in my mind is ‘whoever the fuck she wants to be’.

Look at the pictures below of 5 women who are considered to be some of the most beautiful women in the world. They look nothing like each other! And they are all successful for completely different reasons. What do they have in common? They go after what they want with humility and grace. They commend other women on their achievements…and when you consider their own achievements, their looks do not matter because they used their brains more than anything else. I am not going to sit here typing and imply I have never been one of those unreasonably bitchy women. I definitely have. And so have you…you bitch.


These types of negative feelings for other women can be destructive to your confidence and self-esteem. This can result in worrying behaviour such as insulting random women or even attacking them verbally and physically. If you continually compare yourself to the woman in the magazine, on the street, in your gym etc then you are going to lead a somewhat miserable existence. The beauty of women is that they are all unique in looks and talent. I was once in discussion with a friend about fitness and she said ‘I’ll never achieve your shape’. She actually looked quite sad telling me this and all I could do was laugh in her face. I had always wished I could achieve her shape! I just was not built with her frame, just like she was not built with mine! When you see pictures in the media they are nearly all photo shopped in one way or another. Look at the images below of these women whom are idols to many. The before pictures are more beautiful to me because they are realistic.



BritneyIt would be ignorant to assume that this blog post is about beauty only. Many women can feel competitive or threatened over another woman’s intelligence or talent. The ones you see making a happy successful life for themselves are the ones who stopped caring what other people think. I held my blog back for some time in case someone disagreed with it. How ridiculous am I?! Ultimately we cannot please everyone so we should spend time nurturing ourselves. Everyone has strengths, it is just figuring out what they are and utilising them to serve yourself in the best possible way. Once you accept yourself warts and all, the only way is up.

Tina Fey.jpg

Since realising this for myself in the last year or so, I have naturally attracted people of the same mind set. Interestingly, I have also lost the negative people. Whether they think I am up my own arse, pretentious or whatever, it is irrelevant to me now. It really is not my business how others feel about me! The new relationships I have formed and the old ones I have nurtured have now become a sea of inspiration. I lift my friends up, celebrate their achievements, I tell them to get that money, get that man and they reciprocate for the simple reason that they care about me. Now imagine how powerful women would be if we treat each other this way regardless of how familiar we are with each other.


A few times, particularly in the gym, if I see a woman with cool trainers or nice garms, I tell them. If I think they are doing a good job, I tell them. If I want to know how they did something I ask them. It really is easy to be encouraging and polite to other women if you let all the bullshit go. On occasion there are people you meet and you instantly think ‘I do not like them’. You cannot like everything about everybody but instead of bashing them, find one thing you like and concentrate on that. Leading by example can have positive effect on your surroundings. After all, you get out of people what you put in and you could soon find yourself with a network of amazing women at your disposal.

So despite what the woman you dislike looks like or does, just be pleasant and say hello. You might start on the beautiful path that is friendship. Let us empower each other!