Okay so you may be wondering what this blog title is all about, or you may have got it in one. We are all wired differently when it comes to building relationships and interacting with other people. The way we are with our nearest and dearest (family, friends partner), is usually our true selves. We say and do what we want however we feel it at the time and the chips land where they may.
Then we cart ourselves off to work and if we are smart, we put on our ‘work head’. This is the one that rises above nonsense to get stuff done and it will potentially further our careers if we use that head correctly. It is literally like playing a game. There are many people who are not 100% happy with their employment but the ones who are, work that head like there is no tomorrow. Working the head means remaining diplomatic and polite when you are really ticked off. It is keeping personal opinions about other people to yourself. It is accepting those things that annoy you because you cannot change them. Lastly, it is about carrying out that work to the very best of your ability and perhaps doing a little more for extra credit with the boss. Many people get so wrapped up in work dramas that they govern their life and they can’t switch off when they get home. They are the serial complainers that you know will never be happy with their job, yet they have no desire to put the effort in to change their life. Adopting a work head allows you to see your employment through an objective lens. Ultimately, you are at work to progress your personal life, so getting caught up in bitching and dramas is going to slow you down and make you hate your job. It is easy to forget that even the most senior managers have lives outside of work so if you are stressing them out with your moans, your card might get marked. My work rule is ‘hear all, see all, say nowt’.
Another head we have is the only one we keep for the dreaded in laws meet and greet…and boy is it sweet. The only way to act is like a complete angel because your other half’s family may be looking for a reason why you’re not worthy. That is unfortunately human nature. It is easier to judge on first sight rather than spend time getting to know someone. So say your please and thank you’s, pronounce your ‘t’s’ (which is hard for Yorkshire folk!), offer to do the dishes or make the after dinner coffee. This is probably the most difficult head to use as you have to be very aware of yourself and not let the head slip. As time goes by you can slowly reveal the true sides of yourself. My only word of caution is, keep your strong opinions about serious issues to yourself. Anything that may raise an eyebrow or make them wonder who on Earth you think you are will inevitably lead to ‘concerns’ being raised with your partner. On the other hand you may be blessed with down to earth in laws who are just so happy you love their baby. If this is you then sod what I just said and carry on with the true head.
Now at the beginning of this post I mentioned being your true self with your friends, family and partner. However, there is another true head out there. The crazy head. Your bestie, your crew and your homeboys see this head on a weekend. It is the care free one that just lets itself loose and I doubt it is suitable for family or acquaintances. It is crucial that this head is allowed out from time to time, to reduce stress and to remind your friends how absolutely hilarious you are. Beware though, this head should never ever cross with the other heads as disaster will strike! I would also save this one for the people you trust the most. Your work head will struggle to explain crazy head antics to your parents or employer.
So there are lots of heads we have to use, far too many to talk about here. But the final one I will mention is the ‘angry head’. When you’re upset, depressed, angry or feeling low, this one becomes our protector, our defender and our fighter. It is irrational and unpredictable. Nonetheless it exists to help us cope. We don’t choose this head. It manifest’s itself in times of stress and upset to tell us to take a step back. It does need some control though. If it is left to stew in the pot, that pot will boil over and create a big mess. So where possible, keep this head to yourself and only share it with those who really care for your wellbeing.