newproject_1_originalBefore we get into the dark ‘truth’ about these Monday to Sunday pills, we should get ourselves familiar with the back story. Basically, society want to have sex without getting pregnant and without the restriction of condoms. The condom part is largely male driven because let’s face it…. women just want to feel erm…full. Pardon my crudeness. Interestingly, the pill was only initially available to married women when it was released in 1961. God forbid we should be caught with our knickers down if we didn’t have a husband. ‘That girl ought to be ashamed of herself!’. This rule lasted all of six years because the pharmaceutical companies realised ‘Hey there is a large profit to be made here!’. Hence why your doctor prescribes meds for everything instead of encouraging natural ways of healing…but that’s clearly a blog for another day!

Now, according to this article , the contraceptive pill has been called the greatest scientific invention of the 20th Century. Which it probably is…for men. This article also states that 70% of women in the UK are on the pill or have taken it at some point in their lives. Now that is scary. As you have been patient in reading this introduction, all shall now be revealed. Side note: I felt it important to share this in case other women are struggling and they can’t figure out why.


I have been known to my family as RUTH. Short for RUTHLESS. Not a very endearing name to say the least. From the age of 14 years old I went on the pill to regulate and reduce the pain of my period. Had those side effects been the only ones I may still be on it now. For the next ten years of my life I would have a cloudy, angry mind, an extremely short fuse and endless migraines. The migraines were unbearable. The longest was 28 hours and I couldn’t leave my bed or come out from under the covers. Painkillers didn’t even dent them. I literally thought my brain was going to explode. During a shift at the bookies one day, my vision went blurry, I couldn’t speak and I couldn’t add up. I fell off my chair and pulled myself into the toilet and turned the light off until the duty manager arrived. On reflection, the symptoms suggested a minor stroke but because I was 19 and naive, I dismissed it.

It’s hard to say which was the most difficult, the migraines or the moods. If I was calling a company about a bill I would end up flipping even if the advisor I was speaking to was giving world class customer service. But to me the inconvenience of having to take 5 minutes out of my day to make a premium call to a company I don’t want to speak to was torture. Even during dialling I would hyperventilate with anger and just wait for a reason to start screaming. After these types of calls I would just sit and cry out of frustration and bae would be like ‘seriously though what did you get out of that’ and the guilt would set in.

Other instances have included calling my father derogatory names and telling him to get out of my life, ripping cables and wires out of walls, destroying my own possessions because being destructive helped rid me of the energy that took over my body. Because I had no rational thought I would spend my wages without a second thought and leave myself without basic needs such as food. Shopping also made me feel better…. which is ironic as I knew eventually I would destroy what I bought in a rage with my bare hands. The worst habit I got into, which I still do today but much more diplomatically, is tell people uncomfortable truths. If my comments upset my nearest and dearest I would just say something like ‘well the truth hurts…. bitch’. How awful! When I think back to how I felt during those years I could vomit in disgust.


Whilst there were hundreds of occurrences like this, there was one thought I had which still makes me shiver now. The strong deep-seated feeling that I wanted to slowly tear somebody’s limbs off. I’d pray for a woman (or a man!) to start something so I could get into a scrap and rid myself of the strong feelings that were coursing through my veins like snakes. Had my love not loved me so much, I may have never recognised that I had lost my shit completely and needed to find a way back to rational thought. Neither of us considered the pill was the root cause so I tried exercising, eating healthy, getting more sleep, changing my surroundings….and alas nothing changed.

The penny dropped when I started to become conscious of what I was eating. Watching programmes like ‘The Sugar Documentary’ opened my eyes to what chemicals in foods do to the body. Consuming the parasitic chemicals in processed food could lead to serious illnesses such as cancer, as well as restricting day to day life due to the internal reactions they cause. Once I cleaned up my diet, I was devastated to find the feeling was still there lurking in the background. It was like a shadow that started at my feet, twisted up tightly around my body and finally made a permanent evil settlement in my brain, squeezing the life out of my rational thought.

So, after one particularly bad day of wanting to murder the world and smash up my house, I happened across the leaflet of the contraceptive pill I was taking. I’d never really given the side effects a thought before and my interest in how chemicals impacted on the brain and body roused my interest. In my contraceptive taking lifetime I used Microgynon, Yasmin and Cilest so I decided to look at the side effects in more detail (on an actual PC because phones didn’t have standard internet then…lol). The points below are the side effects I personally experienced from taking the contraceptive pill and these are listed in their literature-

  • Headaches/Migraines
  • a change in the pattern or severity of migraine headaches
  • Increased chance of blood clotting
  • Depression
  • Rise in blood pressure
  • Disturbance in liver function
  • Mood swings

Serious Side effects

  • sudden and severe headache, confusion, problems with vision, speech, or balance

In the case of Yasmin, 6.7% women were discontinued from the clinical trials due to an adverse reaction and yet this product is available to young girls and women around the world!

After some discussion with bae, I decided to just stop taking it. I didn’t go to my doctor as I didn’t feel they would take me seriously. Every time I discussed contraception they tried to convince me to get the implant in my arm. Having heard and seen horror stories about the implant, I told my doctor I didn’t want to be asked about this again and I asked him to make a note of this on my file.


The Results

Well, what can I say…a week in with no pill down my neck and I felt like a phoenix rising from the flames. My mind was clearer than it had been since my school days. My brain went to the laughter function quite easily and never strayed into angry thoughts. If it tried to, I could acknowledge them and send them away. I was rational again! The heavy cloud of being misunderstood and miserable floated away to find some other poor soul. Bae said it was like he’d met me for the first time all over again. Then that got me thinking, how many relationships have fallen apart because of this? How many women were feeling worthless, misunderstood, depressed and/or suicidal? From that moment on I told myself I would never put my reproduction system in the hands of a man made chemical again. Inhibiting my eggs for years at a time was not natural to me and the thought of potential damage to my cycle consumed me. Luckily, everything settled down after around three months or so. Experiencing a proper period after 10 years was hard going but I took joy from knowing my body was functioning as nature intended, not as a man in a lab intended.

Since my experience, I have seen other women go through the same struggle. During a camping trip, my usually kind hearted and fun friend was in a foul mood. Her temper was so short she threw a bag of metal pans at her brother! Immediately after she felt so consumed with anger, regret and upset she even exclaimed ‘what’s wrong with me?!’. She too stopped taking the pill and felt rational and happy after just a week too. So, whether you agree with the pill or not, the struggle is real for many women and they are better off using the natural method. If this story sounds familiar to you, I urge you to stop taking it for just a few weeks and I guarantee you will feel a million times better!



wp-1486319079730.jpgThere are individuals who are completely at home with their sexuality and a new experience with a new person is anything but daunting. On the flip side, some of us feel petrified at the thought of taking our clothes off for someone new. Am I fat? Am I scaly? Will they think things are too small or too big? You can get so consumed with the thought of feeling embarrassed that you actually do embarrass yourself. Tripping over trousers, human functions failing and not getting each other’s sexual flow are all real things. Another common occurrence is expectation. You may have been thinking non-stop about your first sexual encounter with this person to the point where you have it planned out in your head. Then when it comes to crunch time it is anything but exciting and pleasurable, more like cringing and forgetful.

One night stands are not really relevant to this discussion, as they usually occur when alcohol has been consumed and inhibitions disappear anyway. If you have been dating someone, however, this first experience may mean a hell of a lot to you. The key is confidence and ensuring you’re comfortable enough to take things to the next level. Having sex with the person your dating to please them is all well and good but you may not be doing your wellbeing a favour. Any person worth their salt will want their partner to be comfortable too and so honesty really is the best policy. If your partner is putting pressure on you in any way at all and you give in, then the experience will not feel special or genuine.


Unfortunately, our physical side can move way faster than our head. We may think we are ready, do the deed and end up feeling ashamed or regretful in the morning. There is not a timescale for this sort of thing, although the sexual tension will be greatly increased if you do try to hold off for at least a couple of months. Not only does this mean that you have a chance to get to know each other’s personalities properly, it is also a chance to test how long the flame can burn for. If after three months, the person you’re dating is still keen then you know you can comfortably and happily move to the next level with them. If they complain, get bored or fob you off then you know they were only interested in your physical side rather than your spiritual as well. I am sure there are those thinking ‘What?! Three months?!’ and I note this may seem lengthy for people who have a high sex drive. Even so, holding off will most likely make for better sex. Rather than it being an act simply for physically pleasure, you have more chance of achieving the spiritual pleasure at the same time. In these instances, awkwardness and embarrassment do not exist.


Putting new relationships aside, what about existing long term relationships where the expectations have already been set for some time? The key to ensuring sexual longevity in a long term relationship is communication. Many couples end up in the same routine. Same position, same time, same place and same orgasm (or maybe no orgasm at all…the horror!). If this is you and you and your partner are happy then hallelujah, just make sure neither of you are trying to save the feelings of the other. It is okay to say you are bored, want to try something new or that you’re not as keen as you once were. Saying uncomfortable truths can only lead to further discussion. As long as that discussion is pleasant and takes consideration of people’s feelings then a positive result should follow. The easiest way to resolve this kind of issue in the first instance is a change of scenery. If you are not in a position to do this, then change rooms! The most important point to note here though is that effort is key. Doing things half-heartedly will only create resentment, distance and a potential end to the romance.wp-1486319082713.png

So, if you’re moving to the next level with someone or trying to spice up an existing
relationship, sexpectations are at the root of it…so make sure yours are met.






  • the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner.


Some believe that monogamy is not human nature and like wild animals we are supposed to mate using our instincts. If this was the case (which for some it is), no doubt we would quickly overpopulate the earth. Others argue that monogamy is a worldwide conspiracy set up by governments to control the world population! An interesting topic to explore…but we’ll shelve that one for now.

There are of course those traditionalists (or some us call them ‘normal people’) who believe in monogamy and they can’t wait to dance in the joys of marriage, babies, glitter and cheesy selfies. But how do these hopeless romantics, who appear to have the world at their feet, end up in a place where the man decides to cheat?

Well, there are countless reasons that could be put forward, however, in general, there is a pattern amongst men… and women.

Men are animals in their nature. They have basic needs ‘eat, sleep, sex, repeat’, with maybe a workout and a console sesh in-between. Many can have sex as a leisure activity and not be emotionally effected by it the next day. Women often ask their adulterating partners ‘how can you cheat on me if you love me?’.  Well, having sex with someone else does not necessarily mean they do not love their woman any more, it may just be that they are unhappy with them or themselves. It could be they’re not getting what they need physically because the woman is upset and is withholding sex.

Unfortunately, some males also like shiny new things they have never played with beforewp-1484593586884.png and they cannot exercise self-control. Males who act this way on a regular basis are in fact boys, because their head has not figured out what they want and so they lead with their helmet and hope for the best. On the other hand, they may have an enormous ego and are happy to boast that they can have their cake and eat it. These beings are soul destroyers so do not let them charm you into their bed.

Another reason men cheat is due to self-esteem. Jealousy can be a driving factor and they feel they need to get one over on you by exerting their manliness and to prove that they can still successfully ‘hunt’. A boy on his way to being a man will usually realise the gravity of his mistake once he sees what he may lose because of his actions. They say ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’, however, this is not always the case and forgiveness and remorse can make for a strong foundation going forward…see blog 49!

Long term relationships are at risk of going stale and couples may spend more time as individuals doing their own thing. The more this happens, the less sex happens and the more likely the man will meet someone who creates a new spark. If that spark starts flaming on a regular basis, then he is on a slippery slope to being a cheater. This is where phrases like ‘it just happened’ come from, even though they have been emotionally cheating for months. After a while, relationships can feel like an obligation, so the excitement disappears and instead of listening to why the Mrs is annoyed with him, he’ll seek solace with the woman who makes him feel good. Ultimately though, both sides have a duty to keep the flame burning in the relationship and to be completely honest if they think it is going down the pan. People only stay together for years because they want to!


Lastly, some men are just evil manipulators. They see a vulnerability they can exploit and in turn you unknowingly meet their needs, either sexually, emotionally, financially or just by making their life easier in general. Whilst you’re playing Mother Hubbard, he is unapologetically sleeping with several different women. Sadly, these can be the most addictive men because women just want to be their number one. Women can easily get wrapped up in these games by making the mans conquests a target of their destruction instead of him…and all it does is increase his already embarrassingly big ego.


The bottom line is…if both people in the relationship are happy then none of them will cheat…unless they’re mentally unstable. If you have ever been cheated on, please don’t give up on love as it will only make you bitter. Forgive, forget and move on. It is important that you do not tarnish any new man in your life with your ex’s brush, or you’ll push them away with your insecurity. If your partner cheated and you want to forgive them then remember…many couples who experience cheating eventually move past it and have a better relationship in the long run. As long as your happy everyone else will move on too 🙂

And don’t worry guys, I am not man bashing…it the women’s turn next!


Despite what you may think of this post when you have read it, I am not here to make anyone feel uncomfortable, guilty or any type of way. This is just my opinion of the most enjoyable free activity humans get to partake in. It has not been influenced by anything but my own experiences and situations I have witnessed other people go through.  So if you are 16 or over read on…in fact whatever age you are read on!

Whether it is fast, slow, hardcore, fetish or strictly missionary, sex is a spiritual act. We all have an external aura which attracts other humans in different ways depending on our own aura. If you get butterflies or that deep heat feeling in your groin when you meet someone of the opposite sex (blush), your aura is already being immersed in theirs. The chemical reaction this causes in the brain whether it be love or lust can drive us to take things that one step further, without really considering how it will impact our spirit. I always harp on about having a sense of self and the act of sex can either be uplifting or damaging for your spirit.


It is this intertwining of our individual selves that makes sex spiritual and like everything in this world, there is cause and effect. When we are a little lost in life, we often look for comfort and human interaction on a sexual level, which can be  mentally and physically relieving. If you do have a one night stand and wake up in the morning feeling awkward and slightly ashamed of yourself, it is because your spiritual self was disapproving of your actions. We must love ourselves completely before giving that part of ourselves away. If we do not, then other people’s auras become our control…they stick to us like…something sticky…and we start to feel needy and unwanted. This is how some people end up having a one night stand every weekend. They are stuck in a cycle of self-loathing. Please note this is applicable to both men and women!

If you have strong mental barriers, or you perceive sex as a purely physical activity, then you may have different partners regularly and be unapologetic about it. This is not an issue providing the other person has this mindset too. If you are like this but tend to sleep with individuals who are trying to fill a void, then you must stop, as you are damaging their self-esteem even more. If someone is clearly half cut, drugged up or vulnerable then help them get home safely, do not damage their spirit further by targeting them for your sordid needs.


We all have different sides to our personalities and they come out of us as and when we need them to. When you start a relationship with someone new, you will only see the aspects of their personality that they want you to see. Naturally, we want new partners to only see the good sides of us, the light we exude rather the darkness we keep hidden. It would be preferable to abstain from sex until you have had chance to perceive each part of someone. Whatever they hold on the inside spiritually will inevitably be absorbed by your own spirit during sex. If theirs is detrimental to yours in anyway, you will be facing months of healing and cleansing once that relationship ends. Some people never heal because they do not realise what has happened to them and they are left with anger, sadness and heartache. If you have truly had your heart broken you will know that tight chest, empty stomach, cannot breathe properly feeling. It is your spirit in mourning trying to right itself.


If a child is produced by two people who are not spiritually aligned, then this can cause years of emotional problems for either side. Once the relationship comes to an end, the individuals will always be spiritually linked through their child. This can be healthy if both people have healed from the relationship. However, if someone’s spirit has not quite moved on, then you may face dramas, arguments and fights until they make peace with their ‘self’ and the fact that the other spirit will not, or does not, want to reciprocate.


So whatever your situation… married, single, long term relationship or Duracell rabbit, be aware of how your deep sexual feelings and the act itself directly impacts on your ‘sense of self’. Protect your aura, exercise self-control and only give it away when you find your kindred spirit. Unless of course, you are confident that your mental armour is strong enough to protect you from the contaminated spirits out there.