We all lie at some point. Whether it be a fib, a white lie or a big dirty stinking lie that can only cause pain and distress. The amount you lie is based on your self-confidence, maturity and your compassion for others. People may lie to make themselves appear more important or intelligent than they are, to cover up their unacceptable actions and sometimes to avoid drama. Lies ultimately reflect on the people who told them. Nonetheless, there is nothing worse than being on the receiving end of one, as it can make you question your worth and your relationships. Anyone who is willing to pull the wool over your eyes does not usually have your best interests at heart and you have every right to consider them and their morals forever beneath you.
Having said that, it is not a good habit to just cut people off without trying to come to a resolution and understanding, although this is dependent on the liars behaviour afterwards. If they can be humble enough to admit they lied and they are clearly trying to make amends with you, then you should consider giving them the benefit of the doubt. We all get ourselves in a tangle at some point and before we know it we are spewing untruths left right and centre to try protect ourselves. Of course this only results in you digging a deeper hole for yourself. As much as the truth hurts or makes you cringe, it is the truth and it will set you free. Don’t know something? Admit it. Don’t like something. Admit it. You’re feeling a negative emotional response to someone? Admit it. Keeping Secrets for someone else? Don’t get involved in the first place. Hiding feelings and shame creates new tangles and you have to spend your energy trying to untie yourself from the deceit.
Forgiveness is also dependant on who the liar is. The lies of a beautiful stranger aren’t going to linger on your mind for too long. If it is friends or family though, you may find yourself extremely angry. Forgiveness comes from understanding and acceptance, so if you can see the logic in their lie, i.e. they were trying to protect you, then that must be considered. We tend to hurt those we love by trying to do the best for them without them knowing. You can never know 100% how to help someone so tread with caution and act in truth if you don’t want the relationship to turn sour. If the lie cannot be justified then feel free to send this person to the nearest exit. Unnecessary lies from friends and family are time consuming and emotional, so if they had no business being in your business, keep them at arm’s length in future.
If you are the liar, then the first thing you need to accept is that you were caught in a lie and now everything you do and say is in question. The person you lied to may feel they never knew you in the first place. Privileges with friends and family could be lost, such as being someone’s confidant, social opportunities and generally just being a part of their lives. Some people find it difficult to trust anyway, so if you have been cut off by someone like this, then you may have to accept the end of a friendship.
The bottom line is, this universe doesn’t have room for lies. Whether it takes an hour, a day, a year or a decade, THE TRUTH WILL OUT. Save yourself turmoil by only speaking truths. If you don’t lie you don’t have to try remember what you made up! Nobody can get upset with you for being honest and if they do, it is because they can’t face the consequences themselves. Secure people don’t lie because they wouldn’t threaten their own peace and wellbeing, or lead those they love into a false sense of security.