We are all guilty of this and we have all regretted posting one thing or another. Here is a 10 point reminder on why you should keep your dirty laundry off Facebook. I have picked this social media platform above others, as it is more of a community where people actually know each other, as opposed to Instagram or Twitter. As always, don’t be offended by my musings as I only say what I see. Hopefully this guide will help you turn your social media experiences into positive ones.
- No one cares
It is a sad truth but people only really care about their own bubble. Sure, the odd person might ask ‘what’s up?’ on your status, however, this is usually because your rant has awakened their ‘nosey’ gene. The majority of people will read your rant just because drama sparks interest. Don’t be blind sighted in thinking that they actually care and want to help you resolve your issues…they’re just happy to be a spectator of your one man/woman show. Chances are they’re already inboxing one of their friends to say what a complete tool you are and that you need to get over yourself.
2. You look a prat
To be on Facebook you have to be at least 14 years old. We can accept that youngsters aged 14-17 years will have a rant but if you’re 18+, you should really know better. A long winded rant about your evil friend, absent baby father/mother, or annoying family member will make you look out of control. An adult has their affairs in order and if they don’t, they sort them out peaceably and privately. Facebook is a big place and I doubt you would want a potential employer looking you up (which is what they do these days!) and immediately thinking ‘they’re a prat’ and that you are not capable of resolving conflict in an effective way.
3. It is unpleasant for others
We all have issues at some point in our lives and it really is how you deal with them that shows what kind of person you are. There will be individuals on your Facebook going through immense struggles and nobody knows. It is a much happier place for these silent sufferers to see positivity, happiness and funny memes whilst they’re scrolling, not you kicking off at bae because he forgot to pick the kids up! Be a little more aware and consider that someone’s mood may be brought downtown because your rant made them feel even lower about life. We can change the world one small step at a time. Do your bit and be a beam of hope for others to aspire to!
4. It can never be removed
For me this is the most significant. Anything you put on Facebook, even if your settings are private, can be screen shot and circulated before you have even had time to exhale. People have been arrested, lost court cases and destroyed relationships by putting the details of their private matters on Facebook. You must remember that Facebook is not your school, your employment or your friend’s house, it is an online community that is visible to the world. Imagine you slate your ex who you have a child with. No matter the age of that child, there is always the possibility they will see exactly what you wrote about the other parent. Not only is this upsetting for your child, it also promotes unreasonable behaviour to them.
5. It shows your inner weaknesses
Ranting on Facebook gives the impression you are unable to physically and emotionally deal with the problems in your life. Well, my apologies, it is time for you to toughen up. We all have situations we don’t want to be in, people we would like to punch but hey, that’s life! Don’t put your weaknesses on a plate for everyone to see. Muster your inner strength to directly deal with your problems instead of expecting Facebook to. If you have issues you can’t resolve and are feeling frustrated, confide in a friend face to face or try get counselling to work through your feelings.
6. Posting isn’t power
One of the main reasons in people posting their dirty laundry is the feeling of power it instils in them. Even if the person they are ranting about isn’t on their Facebook, they know it will get back to them somehow…that’s why they do it! All that is being created here is a social media war, nothing else. You are already feeling stressed and powerless so why would you make that feeling worse? By posting to feel powerful in your situation you are actually giving your power away. Bear that in mind the next time your fingers start twitching to type that angry status.
7. In directing is immature
A rant can also be a passive aggressive status or meme. You do this to let the person in your life know that you are not happy with them. Is that really the adult way to let them know? I think not. All you are doing is feeding the fire with hate and in turn making yourself look childish. I understand how it happens though, I have been guilty of it too. Ultimately though, it won’t change anything in relation to your problem it will just make it worse. Pick up the phone, arrange a meeting and tell the person properly how you feel. This is more likely to lead to reconciliation.
8. People will want to know
How many times has someone posted a rant and then you see someone else comment saying ‘are you ok?’. The status bearer will reply with one of two answers, either ‘I’ll inbox you’ or ‘yeah I’m fine just having a rant’. Yeah ….they know that…that’s why they asked! You can’t get annoyed with someone for sticking their oar in when you have pretty much invited them to ask what is wrong. If you don’t want other people to know then you probably shouldn’t put a vague indirect status on Facebook. Exercise is the best medicine for frustration so go do that.
9. Attention seeking?
We all know that one extreme Facebook complainer…everyone has one on their friends list. Even though they annoy the hell out of you, you keep them on your friends list so you can be entertained by their mindless dramas. These people are just simply attention seeking. When there isn’t much going on in people’s lives, social media becomes their reality. If this is you then you really need to take a step back and look at how you may be perceived. Even if you don’t care it can still impact on your self-esteem because people will eventually stop liking and commenting. If you are confined to the house or a set way of life, try changing your routine up so you don’t rely on Facebook for comfort.
10. Power of Silence
So many people underestimate the power of silence. It can be more powerful than the words you speak. It is a tactic used by lawyers, police, sales people and you if you’re smart. If someone has ticked you off and you have that urge to have the last word by posting a Facebook rant then I beg you to just STOP. Anyone who has upset you isn’t worth your words or your time. If it is that bad you should be waiting for them to come to you with an apology. The person with the control in any conflict is the one that keeps their head. So be cool, calm and collected. Instead of ranting on Facebook, tell Facebook what a fabulous day you have had. The last thing you want is your enemy thinking that they were the focus of your whole day!