Keeping up appearances

I always thought that as I got older, people would become more honest and real about themselves. The dreaded school years are embedded in history never to be seen again and everyone is getting married, having babies and generally making nice happy bubbles. It all sounds very mature doesn’t it? Unfortunately for some individuals, things really are the same as they were at school. By this I mean the fibs and the illusion of wealth and superiority.



They still feel the need to try keep up and seek praise and admiration from their peers. The most common example of this presents itself on Facebook. I for one do not mind people sharing pictures of their new shiny car, big house by the sea or a wrist full of ice. I do have a problem with those that fake or exaggerate success though. If you are rich or poor it does not impact on my life. If you are scruffy or smart it does not impact my life…so why do people feel the need to create these illusions?

It is inevitable that you may earn less than someone you used to know at school, it is also possible you will earn more. Either way your earning potential doesn’t directly reflect who you are as a human being. I recently discovered someone’s big promotion that they were ‘smashing’ and someone else’s ‘business plan’ with a ‘new contact’ were in fact highly exaggerated circumstances. These are people with a history of frustration and insecurity and all I could think was, ‘If you put as much effort into yourself as you did your lies you would be a big success!’. The problem these people have is that they focus too much on what others are doing.


There are some jobs that require people to create such illusions on social media, like network marketing and I give these folks a free pass. You may think that these people are bragging but they’re actually working their butts off to sell their products. And they do this by showing you the life you ‘could have’ by signing up to sell with them…but it still takes hard work! The issue of today is that everyone wants success overnight, like some unashamed reality TV star.


There is nothing more humbling than admitting your fears, doubts and failures and it is irrelevant how others react to them. The benefit of voicing these is that It helps our personal growth. If you know your weaknesses you can only get stronger…yes cheesy I know…but true! Building lie upon lie about yourself only gives you more to live up to and maintain, resulting in stressful social situations. If you’re deceit is revealed then you are going to look like a right plonker and if you hear of other peoples successes whilst lying about your own, it is going to strip you of your worth. You may as well be open and honest in your dealings with people and save yourself a headache. Ultimately, if you do become rich and famous, the people you used to know probably won’t have anything to do with your life anyway!


And then there is that too…life. Whilst you’re putting your energy in creating the perfect illusion, other people are living their lives and having fun. Perceived money, fame and praise is not a substitute for real experiences. If you think back to the most fun times of your life you will most likely think of a person or people first, not that car or an outfit you had. I myself am no different.

Though I have been blessed with a lot of readers over the Summer, I am not ashamed to say they have declined since the start of September. At first I was a little put out and I started to criticise my work. Then I started to try justify it by saying things to myself like ‘people are back at work and their kids are back at school, so they’re too busy to read’. When really the truth is, I have no idea why my stats have dropped! I do know that I love every post I write and that I started my blog for me…to get my thoughts out no matter who was interested and if it helped others that was a bonus. On reflection, I also realised my own efforts had declined.


Ultimately, I care about my blog and nobody else is obligated to. If I want to make it bigger I have to think bigger! I mean blog #32 ….who would have thought it would still be going? Probably only me 🙂

So whatever your passion is in this life, don’t be too hard on yourself if success doesn’t materialise. If you’re not the best, at least you are doing something you love and making that change for yourself. Defined by Thrine appreciates your efforts even if nobody else does!


Author: Defined by Thrine

'The times they are a-changin' A passionate writer without an agenda History undergraduate Speak freely, listen intently #moreyinthanyang #healthydebates Enjoy...Defined by Thrine.

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