- Get rid of the negs
It is easy to allow the same people who have always been in your life to just stay there with their judgements and their sense of being ‘all knowing’ about you. The truth is we grow and change as we age, however, some people find this difficult to accept. If your friends cannot support you and say positive things to help you on your journey, then you should really think about giving them the boot. Any negative comment about your life that you didn’t ask for should be a big red flag…get rid!
- Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
By this I mean people…again. You may stick with the same group of friends because you simply enjoy their company. Whilst this is a positive, you should still try broaden your company to allow for new experiences. This also ensures you are never left hanging. If you have to rely on other people to give you plans then you are being a follower, not a leader. Plan something for yourself like a new fitness class, dancing or a local group meeting, like a book club.
- Talk to yourself
Self-confidence is an important part of being happy. Once you realise it cannot be replicated you will feel brave enough to unleash your inner power. Instead of focusing on what you would change about your body and personality, focus on what you already think is awesome! None of us are perfect and the last thing you want to do is start altering yourself to fit other people’s expectations. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, ‘I am powerful because I am me!’.
- Don’t spit your dummy out
It is inevitable that people will eventually let us down in some way shape or form, however, it is how you deal with such setbacks that defines you. Try get to a place where you literally do not ‘need’ anyone. To do this you need to create your own hobbies and passions. For instance, if I was meant to meet a friend and they let me down, I will do a workout, write a short story or update my blog! The time does not have to be wasted and you do not have to feel resentful.
- Exercise and healthy eating
Whether you like this fact or not, exercise will improve your mental wellbeing, as well as strengthen your body. Many of us struggle to maintain fitness and often it is due to the food we put in our bodies. Workouts should be fuelled with whole, unprocessed foods. Sweets, crisps, white bread, pastries and all the junk we love to eat slows us down, as our bodies try desperately to break up the bad food and get rid of it. This results in a sluggish feeling when exercising and it makes it feel like a chore. Try swapping your pasta and bread to wholegrains as a small start and I guarantee you will notice a difference! Also set yourself a pee challenge…keep drinking water until your pee is clear!
- Forgive and forget
Holding a grudge is more damaging to you than it is to the person you are angry at. Nobody should be able to live rent free in your head. If they are then move them out now and actually say to yourself, ‘you’re evicted’. It sounds a little insane but saying things out loud when you are angry helps you let them go. And remember, if you are thinking negatively about other people, that is time you could have spent reaching your own successes.
- Log out of social media
In one way or another or lives are now entwined with social media platforms. I for one love Instagram and Snapchat, although on occasion I find myself either sick of it or too consumed by it. Try put the phone down for 24 hours and log out of all your applications. If you find yourself feeling a little lost then you know you have done the right thing! Use this time to appreciate the other things in life. Take a walk to appreciate nature or go see a friend for a catch up. Spending all our time on material things and looking at other people’s lives 24/7 means we forget to live ourselves.
- Be honest
We often forget that honesty is the best policy. Carrying around guilt and secrets can be mentally exhausting. You may as well get rid of these feelings now for your own sake…and so other people know where they stand with you. Everything blows over eventually and if you lose someone out of your life then you have to accept that consequence of your actions.
Honesty also does not have to be something negative. If you think your friend or partner did something awesome then tell them! If someone did you a small favour that lit up your day tell them! Do not worry about being a bit cheesy about these things. We all have a responsibility to keep the love train going.
- Don’t promise too much
If it is in your nature to drop your own tasks to help others, then you may need to take a step back. Humans tend to have a strong sense of entitlement and obligation, so if you always do things for someone else, they will expect it for the rest of your life! Making too many promises will result in either disappointment for the other person or you burning yourself out. You should be your priority so make sure if you are offering help that you can actually follow it through without thinking ‘oh why did I say I would do that!’.
- Celebrate yourself
How many people wish they had a surprise party or some big acknowledgement of their achievements? For some this may come to fruition but for the rest of us, we have to literally celebrate ourselves. If you have accomplished something mega, then take a few days out to go to the spa, write an account of it in your diary or go shopping and treat yourself. Sadly, people will go straight to envy rather than celebration when your winning. Being your own fan will keep you on the right path and stop other people’s negative perceptions from clouding your mind. Second guessing yourself is never the answer, always trust your gut.