Why am I still single?


Looking for love can be an exhausting affair. And affairs are sometimes the reason why they are exhausting! We all see that fairy tale couple who seem to have it all and we are left thinking ‘aw I want that’. If you are single, then it is likely you get asked all those questions that make you want to tell people to go away and mind their own business…’are you seeing anyone?’, ‘Do you want to?’, ‘You best start now if you want kids!’, ‘I know someone you can date!’. Those of you who are happily single will probably not care, however, if you are looking to settle down, these comments can be quite depressing.


There are many awesome males and females looking for love and they just keep coming up short. The biggest love killer I can see is people jumping in head first. Now I must admit, I do believe that some people can meet each other and instantly know it is true love…but even so, it should still be taken slow. The first few weeks/months are crucial to a blossoming relationship and you need to know what you are up against from the word go.

These days, people have sex with each other within the first few weeks of meeting. This in itself can kill a relationship off, as the chase is over before it has even started. The sex has been committed under purely physically circumstances. It is usually the men that start to give the cold shoulder first and individuals like this almost always have more than one lady on the go. Men are more animal in their natures than women, so if you meet a guy in a club and give him sex that night, or even within the month, he already has what he wants from you. He may not be concerned with what your mind has to offer now that the fun part is over.

Women who act this way are generally either confused about what they want, or they are trying to heal from previous heartbreak, by getting validation from someone else. When it comes to sex, women can be much more vulnerable and naive than men. They may think that giving themselves up to a man will ensure his interest in the long term. For the man, it may not even still be about sex once the deed is done. A man could then find a woman’s cleaning, house or even her money useful but ultimately they are just free loading for comfort. They are not there to get to know her ‘spiritual self’. It is the intertwining of our spiritual selves in a truthful way that manifests a loving relationship.


If you do meet someone and you manage to progress for a couple of months, you need to realise it will still be years before you know this person properly. As I said in the ‘Sex’ post, we keep our darkness hidden from our partners and only show them the light to keep them interested. However, it is inevitable that the darkness will seep out at some point, so honesty from the beginning will strengthen your bond later down the line.

I truly believe the best way to find love is to stop looking for it and change your habits. If you go to the same places every day or every weekend, then your life will never change. Allowing yourself to have new experiences in new places and setting yourself goals, will enable you to strengthen your sense of self. Once you have mastered the ‘self’ you will find that you attract more people, as your new strong and confident aura is doing the pulling for you. If you feel desperate, needy and lonely, you will come across desperate, needy and lonely. It is a harsh truth but one that can be remedied by just making yourself a priority.


When the right person comes into your life you will know about it. They could be in your life right now but you have not considered them as a partner before. The true love of your life will not have an agenda, cancel at the last minute, brush you off, blatantly lie, embarrass you, insult you or use you in any way. They will just want to be with you and do things for you that make you happy. Most importantly, you must know your worth. If a situation does not feel completely right, then trust your gut and get out of there!



Author: Defined by Thrine

'The times they are a-changin' A passionate writer without an agenda History undergraduate Speak freely, listen intently #moreyinthanyang #healthydebates Enjoy...Defined by Thrine.

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