We live in a bit of a sad world really when considering how many ways we have to conform to a certain type of beauty. And this goes for both men and women.
In the early 90s, women were told to be lean and trim like Jennifer Anniston and Claudia Schiffer. Late 90s-2000s you were not considered sexy unless you had big hair, an orange tan and a boob job, hello Pammy and Melinda! Now…we have to have all that, plus an unachievable giant Kim Kardashian ass and Kylie Jenner lips. This is in addition to appropriating a number of different cultures to fit in. It is no wonder that women are getting sliced open left, right and centre and spending hundreds of pounds on expensive makeup and hair extensions. Give me a hair brush and some tea tree wash and I am happy.
For men it appears to be easier, or perhaps that is due to men keeping quiet about this stuff. I mean what guy wants to say he is worried about how he looks really? Nearly every male lead in films or in music videos has a rock hard body, a face carved by angels and the confidence of a dictator. They never stand around spilling off their insecurities to their friends and saying things like ‘She’d like me more if my guns were bigger’. Men are bred to believe they have to be muscly, macho and unintimidated in every situation, which is so untrue.
The one thing that all this has in common is the media. The media tell us what is an ‘acceptable’ way to look and many of us lap it up. Whether it is eyebrows, nails, body shape, clothes, hairstyle, fillers etc., you probably have not chosen all that yourself. You are conforming because you have been influenced by either someone on TV, social media, in a magazine or in person. The rise of filtered photographs does not help the situation. For me this is the destruction of humanity. We are all wonderfully unique and once you start to make a tweak here and there you are losing your sense of self. You are saying ‘this part of me is not good enough for someone else’. A better way to build confidence is to work on your natural body in the gym.
When I started working out I lost my boobage in the first month or so. At first I was kind of devastated and the only way I could deal with it was to just ignore them and carry on training. After a couple of months of building muscle I noticed they were now defined on my chest, they suited my frame and they also looked much healthier than the fat mounds I used to have. I can wear literally anything I want now without a struggle. Men, for the most part, are more interested in my face than my chest which is how it should be. After all, you only really see a person through their eyes. This is not me bragging it is just me being positive by pointing out my natural benefits! You should stand in the mirror and do it too! Everyone has a naturally awesome something.
If you are ever rejected by someone for the way you look i.e. boobs not big enough, body not muscly enough, skin too dark or too pale, then you need to understand the problem is definitely with them and not you. They have been programmed by another drone to believe beauty has certain markers. It never has and it never will. It is not separated by our colour, size, gender or age. When two people fall in love it is not because one is ripped and the other has had a face lift, it is because their spirits have entwined.
There is nothing wrong with loving yourself and being a bit of a poser. In fact I encourage you to do that. Learn to love what you were born with for that is more powerful and beautiful than any ‘add on’ that has been disgustingly prepared to ‘improve’ you. How do we raise the next generation to be in touch with their spiritual selves if we are already telling them they are not good enough on the outside? 14 year old girls look like 20 year old models in this decade…what happened to ponytails and tracksuits with a bare face? They have six inch heels on, their chests out, lipstick on, they all have the same scarily perfect eyebrows and extended hair. Young lads all have the same hairstyle, hobbies, outfits and the pressure to show off a perfect life on social media.
Whether you agree or not, these issues contribute to the rise in underage sex, paedophilia, suicide, death by plastic surgery, anxiety, depression and all other manner of evils in this world. If you cannot do it for yourself then at least do it for the generation we are messing up. Love your body, flaws and all (they’re not really flaws you have just been told they are!) and encourage everyone around you to let all that natural out.