Shade Throwers

‘Shade’ is a relatively new term that all the cool kids use…apparently. When someone posts a snide social media status and/or picture post, have you ever felt that it is somehow for your attention? Yes? Well you have had shade thrown at you…run for the sun! It is basically an individual or group of people that subtly put you down to make themselves look superior. I know, sad right? It can be extremely frustrating when this happens, although if you sit back and reflect on it, you will realise you should be pitying those that tried to cool your awesomeness. Or like me you will sit laughing and lap up the entertainment these insecure beings provide.



Shade is thrown when an individual feels they are being overtaken, upheaved, outdone or replaced by you. They are not fully happy that you exist and they have not reconciled themselves with who they really are. It has come to their attention that you are more than you initially appear and they wish they had more to offer too. The truth is…they do! They are just too insecure to unlock their potential and dive head first into their dreams! But you are… so good for you! As shade is mostly indirect, you cannot always directly address the issue with someone, as they will claim you are off your rocker. The easiest way to deal with people like this is to imagine you are watching a TV show and the shade throwers are the characters. This allows you to perceive the person objectively…and it can be quite amusing! It is much easier to spot the art of shading when it is being thrown over your head and on to someone else. Start your observing now… you will not believe what your objective eye uncovers. People are sneaky.

The most obvious shade throwing you will experience is when someone you barely know starts spouting verbal diarrhoea. It is usually when they have overheard you saying that you want to, or are going to, do something new and they have already done it. They really do not care that you may have the same experience, they just want YOU to know THEY have been there, done that, got the t-shirt…BEFORE YOU! Yawn…they are best ignored so rise above it and smile. The evil in me says…if you want to irritate them then keep telling them they are wrong about the subject in question.


The sly shade throwers are usually closer to home. It may be a family member, a friend or a work colleague. On the face of it they are more than accommodating to your needs and aspirations. They will appear to lift you up whilst scheming to tear you down. For instance, you tell this person that you intend to do something new and they act all enthusiastic and encouraging, so you say ‘yes I am going to go for it!’. Then in a roundabout way they will dampen your experience by saying something like ‘I did not think it was that good when I did it, so I am doing this instead’. They want to give you the feeling that you should be doing what they are doing. It boosts their self-esteem and makes them feel important. Interestingly, many people do not even realise they are doing it, as it is so ingrained in them. Others maybe envious of you and it makes them feel better to secretly chip away at you. In this scenario the shade may be more obvious and then laughed off as banter. If you are happy with whatever it is you have chosen to do, then let that happiness out and let them know you are your own person.


There will always be someone with more friends , more followers and more talent than somebody else. Having said that, you as an individual cannot be replicated, so do not let someone dirty your aura by letting their jealousy, envy and bitchiness impact on your life.  They have to believe in their tiny mind that your life is nothing compared to theirs. Whilst they are consumed with that you should keep building your life blocks in your own unique way.


Author: Defined by Thrine

'The times they are a-changin' A passionate writer without an agenda History undergraduate Speak freely, listen intently #moreyinthanyang #healthydebates Enjoy...Defined by Thrine.

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