Emotional manipulation can make you feel like you are going crazy inside your own head…but you do not know how to explain it to someone else. It could be years before you realise the person in your life is not who they say they are. Coming to terms with this can also be mentally exhausting, as you literally feel like this person is now a stranger, yet they pull you back in and it feels oh so familiar. Depending on the context in which this is happening, emotional manipulation can cause you years of intermittent pain, especially if it is someone you love and live with. However, experiencing this treatment from an acquaintance will just be a lesson learned, as you can (and should!) cut them off at a moment’s notice.
You must be careful who you tell about your situation, as people tend to become exasperated when you approach them with the same issue. Anyone who has experienced emotional manipulation for themselves will understand that it takes a number of mental processes to be exhausted, before you can remove yourself for good. Having a friend slate the person or tell you what you already know about a relationship will not help you in the slightest. There is a difference between supporting someone and telling them what to do. People going through this are only looking for an ear, someone to sit and nod, they do not want the third degree. Admittedly, it is healthier to get out of the mental struggle as soon as you can, although these instances usually arise within a relationship that is difficult to let go. If this is you then try the following techniques to build your mental strength and they should also help you to cope if you do not have the right support.
Keep a diary
Keeping a log of your feelings and occurrences will allow you to see your thought processes in distressing or vulnerable times. This can end up being the key to unlocking our own brain. You will find yourself going ‘ah I do that when they say this!’. It will also keep you sane which is the most important thing here. When your manipulator is denying the truth or claiming they did not say/do what you recall, you start to doubt yourself. Having something to look back on reminds you that it is all a trick and that you are being manipulated, not loved, as they so vehemently claim.
When the manipulation starts, it is more beneficial to you to stay silent where possible and just observe the person who has a hold over you. You will start to realise they make certain movements and say certain words when they start their manipulation methods. Once you become accustomed to their ‘ticks’ you can use it as protection. Once you see the signals you can shut down your brain so you remain unaffected or you can use it to poke holes in their dialogue. Be cautious if you do the latter though. If your manipulator has aggressive tendencies you may be putting yourself in danger of a physical attack, so weigh up the safest way to deal with it.
Use your instincts
This is ultimately the most important thing. We are all about ‘self’ at Defined by Thrine and being in touch with your instincts is the highest protection you can offer yourself. We all feel our instincts differently. It could be that odd feeling in your stomach, a buzzing filling your head or a virtual stick that keeps prodding at your insides. Acknowledge these feelings and immerse yourself in them as deeply as you can, even if it hurts your heart and makes you cry. Whilst it will feel unbearable at the time, the end result will be a stronger relationship with your intuitive self, as it is your spirit telling you something is out of balance.
If you are struggling to admit to yourself that you are a victim of a manipulator, then you need to realise it will never end until you do. They are predators and only you can stop yourself being the prey. If you do not have the strength to cope then please tell someone, even if you have to ring a charity like Samaritans ( dial 116 123 UK & ROI ). A problem shared really is a problem halved and it could set you on the path to mental freedom.