Sense of Self

We are all unique in the way that we think and it is here we hold the most power. Even identical twins do not think the exact same thing at the same time, although they may have the odd coincidence. This individual thinking must be exercised and looked after as you would your physical body. Your ‘Sense of Self’ must be what you protect above everything else, even above your own children, if you have them. I am often told that I am selfish and it used to upset me… until I realised the people who say that to me seem to have a constant battle with their inner ‘self’. Let us face it, the people who are comfortable within themselves will brush off any blow to their pride because they know who they are. This is what I have come to realise about myself. If I absorbed every comment I had ever heard about myself, or focused on every wrong someone did or I did then I would surely be an emotional mess most of the time.


So from there it became apparent that to harness my powerful self I must create, to a certain extent, a mental barrier. This barrier only lets through the positive and it rejects the negative. If I have upset someone (which I often do inadvertently!) I usually let the guilt eat me alive to the point where I cannot think about anything else. This is an extremely unhealthy way of not dealing with mental emotion…agonising over things. The key is to find a way to accept what you cannot change. We know that the majority of us would never maliciously hurt or upset someone but we are human, so we may make the odd mistake and bad judgement. The end goal is to learn from those experiences and take a mental note not to allow those things to happen again.


There is also a dangerous flip-side to this ‘Sense of Self’.  Once you have achieved it you will feel peace like you never have before. Then you will want everyone you love to feel the same sense of contentment that you do. You may start going out of your way to make others happy and putting your own priorities on the back burner. Priorities that will soon catch up with you and require your attention. But then the person you are helping will not understand why you are not around for them at a moment’s notice. It will make you feel like your limbs are being pulled in different directions because you simply cannot maintain your ‘Sense of Self’ and their ‘Self’ at the same time. The inner ‘Self’ must remain in balance to be effective. As the old saying goes ‘You cannot love someone else until you love yourself’.


People who have no ‘Sense of Self’ are high risk to your wellbeing. They may develop drug and/or alcohol problems, be extremely cynical, lie to their loved ones, exude aggression over minor issues, appear constantly angry and/or insecure, put others down to boost their own self-esteem, amongst many other negative traits. Those who do not have a ‘Sense of Self’ yearn to feed others with their knowledge but will reject knowledge being given to them. Be wary of these people for they will surely put you on their insecure pathway and strip you of your worth.

Social media also plays a big part in our ‘Sense of Self’ these days. We are constantly on our phones managing Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. This is another channel that strips us of our individuality if we get too absorbed in it. There are thousands of models on Instagram in skimpy outfits, celebrities on Snapchat living the high life and then to top it all off, our Facebook friends are posting their fabulous lives…but remember… it is all smoke and mirrors guys.


Only you can build your inner confidence and harness the power of self. Once you set goals you will achieve them if you never give up. You will also lose people along the way because ultimately, the ‘Sense of Self’ is about your personal journey to peace and happiness. You will not wake up tomorrow and have that mental barrier ready…but start training it now. I truly believe what you put into the universe you get back. Putting positive vibes out there will attract the right people, the people who want to see you succeed.


Author: Defined by Thrine

'The times they are a-changin' A passionate writer without an agenda History undergraduate Speak freely, listen intently #moreyinthanyang #healthydebates Enjoy...Defined by Thrine.

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