Have you ever been somewhere and a beautiful woman walks into the room? Did you notice how people react? The majority of men would probably either steal a quick glance, ogle openly or perhaps make a crude (occasionally respectful) remark about the woman’s ‘charms’. The other women in the room will do EXACTLY the same but 9 times…no we’ll say 8 times…out of 10 they will follow with an unnecessary insult or sly remark like, ‘She has got extensions in’, ‘her legs are big’, or may be more aggressively ‘who the fuck does she think she is?’. This last one makes me laugh out loud. The response in my mind is ‘whoever the fuck she wants to be’.
Look at the pictures below of 5 women who are considered to be some of the most beautiful women in the world. They look nothing like each other! And they are all successful for completely different reasons. What do they have in common? They go after what they want with humility and grace. They commend other women on their achievements…and when you consider their own achievements, their looks do not matter because they used their brains more than anything else. I am not going to sit here typing and imply I have never been one of those unreasonably bitchy women. I definitely have. And so have you…you bitch.
These types of negative feelings for other women can be destructive to your confidence and self-esteem. This can result in worrying behaviour such as insulting random women or even attacking them verbally and physically. If you continually compare yourself to the woman in the magazine, on the street, in your gym etc then you are going to lead a somewhat miserable existence. The beauty of women is that they are all unique in looks and talent. I was once in discussion with a friend about fitness and she said ‘I’ll never achieve your shape’. She actually looked quite sad telling me this and all I could do was laugh in her face. I had always wished I could achieve her shape! I just was not built with her frame, just like she was not built with mine! When you see pictures in the media they are nearly all photo shopped in one way or another. Look at the images below of these women whom are idols to many. The before pictures are more beautiful to me because they are realistic.
It would be ignorant to assume that this blog post is about beauty only. Many women can feel competitive or threatened over another woman’s intelligence or talent. The ones you see making a happy successful life for themselves are the ones who stopped caring what other people think. I held my blog back for some time in case someone disagreed with it. How ridiculous am I?! Ultimately we cannot please everyone so we should spend time nurturing ourselves. Everyone has strengths, it is just figuring out what they are and utilising them to serve yourself in the best possible way. Once you accept yourself warts and all, the only way is up.
Since realising this for myself in the last year or so, I have naturally attracted people of the same mind set. Interestingly, I have also lost the negative people. Whether they think I am up my own arse, pretentious or whatever, it is irrelevant to me now. It really is not my business how others feel about me! The new relationships I have formed and the old ones I have nurtured have now become a sea of inspiration. I lift my friends up, celebrate their achievements, I tell them to get that money, get that man and they reciprocate for the simple reason that they care about me. Now imagine how powerful women would be if we treat each other this way regardless of how familiar we are with each other.
A few times, particularly in the gym, if I see a woman with cool trainers or nice garms, I tell them. If I think they are doing a good job, I tell them. If I want to know how they did something I ask them. It really is easy to be encouraging and polite to other women if you let all the bullshit go. On occasion there are people you meet and you instantly think ‘I do not like them’. You cannot like everything about everybody but instead of bashing them, find one thing you like and concentrate on that. Leading by example can have positive effect on your surroundings. After all, you get out of people what you put in and you could soon find yourself with a network of amazing women at your disposal.
So despite what the woman you dislike looks like or does, just be pleasant and say hello. You might start on the beautiful path that is friendship. Let us empower each other!